Manic Friday

So after a long day on Thursday and taking half the day off of work I was greeted with a ton of things to do on Friday.  Which is good in a way, but also creates more stress, that I really don't need.

I have told my boss of my condition and a few coworkers, but for the most part people do not know.  It is hard sometimes because people come to talk to me and are super cheery and it is hard for me to handle that.  So far I have been saying I have a headache, but feel like I am lying.  Then there are other times that I get to talking/working/etc and I temporarily "forget" that I have this huge monkey on my back.

The oncologist called and told me my hormone/HER2 receptor status:
HER2neu - negative  this is good news in some ways because it means no Herceptin chemo and I believe is also thought that positive is more aggressive?
Estrogen Receptors (ER) is weakly positive.  I believe she said between 1-10%  This means she will prescribe Tamoxifen for 5 years after chemo/surgery.  That is no typo - 5 years.
Progesterone Receptor(PR) is negative.

She told me that she wants to start Chemo on May 16th.  Having a definite start date makes this so much more scary.  But before that I need to have a MUGA scan of my heart.  She gave me the number to call and I did and the person making the appointments said there was a STAT order in for it.  It is scheduled for Monday the 7th at 2:15.  I also need to schedule a CT scan, but since I am unsure if I am allergic to Iodine she put an order in for it without contrast, just to be on the safe side (I have never been told I was allergic to Iodine, but I do feel weird after eating shellfish sometimes and have been known to have a rash after consuming too much iodized salt.)

So at least 2 more appointments next week.  I had 5 appointments this week - at $20/copay for each visit it starts to add up.  Not as much as if I had to pay for everything out of pocket, but still an unexpected expense.  I'm also not sure if I will be able to work or not.  I forgot to ask my doctor, but based on talking with other cancer survivors I think the doctors normally take you out of work, and a lot of that is to reduce the risk of infection.  But some people are allowed to work, so I think it also depends on the doctor.  And how I am feeling.  But I thankfully have never had to go out on medical leave so dont know how that works, how long it takes, how much of my current salary will be covered, etc.  At almost 5 on Friday my HR representative was nice enough to give me the quick breakdown and ease my mind somewhat.

I haven't talked too much about this here, but I do also own a business.  And one of my main concerns after I found out the news was that I was worried about the business  I am trying to figure out a plan for how to address that.  I am working on several things, but in the meantime I still have to put some hours in at the business.  I know once Chemo starts that I cannot put any hours into the business, so that is why I have to have a push to get things squared away.  But that is more stress, as if I don't have enough.

Oh and I'm not sleeping well either . . . more stress I don't need.