Sorry for the long absence. I have been trying to live my life again. And I had a scare. Stupid cancer. I had my annual Mammogram and on the one year anniversary of my first chemo (May 16th) they called me to tell me that they found something suspicious on my "good" breast and needed to do a biopsy. I had intended to write a great post about the difference a year can make, but then I was right back in the middle of all the cancer crap again.
The worst part was they told me the first available appointment for an ultrasound biopsy was like 3 weeks away. And that is when I lost it. I was on the phone with the lady making appointments crying my eyes out and yelling at her that I just finished chemo and radiation for breast cancer and I absolutely could not wait 3 weeks for an appointment. I feel bad for yelling at her, but I think that unless you have been on the wrong side of bad news you do not know how much it really messes with your head. Waiting 3 weeks to know if I have to go through the same crap I did the last year would be mental torture. Thankfully she put me on the waiting list for an earlier appointment and ended up calling me later that day to say they had an opening the next day.
I was scheduled for an ultrasound guided biopsy, same as I had when I was diagnosed. This time they looked for the suspicious area that was seen on the mammogram and could not find it. That is good news and bad news. The good news is that maybe it is scar tissue from my surgery or something else benign. The bad news is they cant test it to see if it is cancer unless I have a stereostastic biopsy. A stereostastic biopsy is one that you lay face down on a table with your breast hanging down through an icehole cutout. Down below they put your breast in a mammogram, take a picture and keep you in the compression until it is developed, do this a couple more times and then when they are confident they can sample the right area, they stick a giant needle in there to do the biopsy. They gave me anesthetic in the beginning but when it was time to stick the needle in there it hurt. Really bad. So they gave me more happy juice and I was ok. It was sore for a few days and there was a little lingering tenderness for a couple of weeks. The scar still looks a little red.
I had the biopsy on a Thursday and figured they would not call me with results until Monday. On my way home on Friday my oncologist called me to tell me the good news. It was NOT cancer. It may have been scar tissue or who knows. I will go back for another mammogram in 6 months. I was really happy that my doctor called me after 5pm on a Friday to give me my results. She said she was almost ready to leave and checked to see if my results were in. Thankfully I have integrated bluetooth in my car so I was able to answer the call while driving home. And thankfully I was only about 2 blocks away from home when she called cause there were happy tears flowing. I almost forgot what happy tears felt like.
I am still not out of the woods. Cancer is one mean bleep bleep bleeep bleeep. I am thankful for every day and fully intend to be one of those success stories, but you never know with cancer.
I have been working a lot, relaxing a lot and trying to grow some hair. I do have some hair and am very thankful for that but it is growing a lot slower than I would like. I am trying to live my life again and do things that have nothing to do with cancer. For the most part I am doing well, but I stress over every little twinge or pain.
I'm getting the urge to go on vacation again . . . time to start planning. Researching vacation places is a lot more fun than researching cancer treatments, symptoms and side effects (though I still do that too).
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